Toronto Rocks

Every time I go to an event now, I turn into a critic. I critique the signage, reception, food, schemes and themes, publicity, etc. The other night I was at the Air Canada Centre with a group of Centennial College chums for the Toronto Rock lacrosse game. I’ve never been to a lacrosse game before or even seen it on TV. The closest I came was bumping hips [foreshadowing irony -- read ahead] with the athletic girls in the hallway with their crosses slung over their shoulders, looking formidable and important. 

Being the curious sort, I decided to research the history of the game of lacrosse. According to Wikipedia, lacrosse is a 15th century invention of Native North Americans. The name, like the game, has gone through many changes, such as dehuntshigwa’es in Onondaga meaning “men hit a rounded object,” da-nah-wah’uwsdi in Eastern Cherokee meaning “little war,” Tewaarathon in Mohawk meaning “little brother of war,” and baaga`adowe in Ojibwe for “bump hips.” It was the French that later named it lacrosse meaning “stick” — a bit reductive, but there you have it.

For Native North Americans these games were spiritual and a way of giving thanks to the Creator. Teams were made up of 100 to 1,000 men on a patch ranging from 500 yards to two miles long and could last for days. Players could be badly injured or even killed. These games were also highly respected as good training for young warriors. Often a game was played to solve conflicts between tribes. In those days, the balls were of deerskin, clay, stone or wood.

So, back to the ACC and the event itself and rubber balls. Seems kind of trivial now that I’ve brushed up on the history of the game, but anthropology tells us that contact sports are a good substitute for combat and war. So, I shall press on.

The game was divided up into 15-minute segments and then there would be publicity moments. We had the Molson Genuine Draft dancers with three-minute high-kicking numbers and then a squeaky girl with a microphone would appear on the Jumbotron, making various announcements for sponsors, as she roamed the lower levels of the ACC handing out free stuff like Pizza Pizza – nothing for the Plebes in the cheap seats.

There were games for specially selected audience members, involving tricycles, wardrobe changes and races that resulted in gift certificates from Home Depot and the like. And truckloads of girls in spandex tossing beer coolies into the crowd. That was unexpected. There was never a dull moment and it was all quite entertaining (or is that distracting?) This is what you might call double strategy — publicity that involves the crowd, whilst providing entertainment for those Plebes in the cheap seats.

I particularly liked the signage — digital signage. Home Depot graced each exit vantage point in prominent orange. Screens circumvented the venue at each level and responded to the publicity girl and the crowd, depending on what was happending at the time — like they all do at every game, but still effective. Toronto Rock lost, but put on a good game.

I wonder if they know about bumping hips. I wonder how the spirits of warrior chiefs feel about girls in spandex prancing about on the playing field that was once a place of honour. And I wonder how the Creator feels about not being thanked. I wonder why no respect is given to the origins of this game. The national anthem is played at baseball games, why is nothing similar done for lacrosse? Why are the deep-rooted traditions of this game not celebrated? It’s a mystery.